Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church

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Thus says the LORD: You, son of man, I have appointed watchman for the house of Israel; when you hear me say anything, you shall warn them for me. If I tell the wicked, “O wicked one, you shall surely die,” and you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked from his way, the wicked shall die for his guilt, but I will hold you responsible for his death. But if you warn the wicked, trying to turn him from his way, and he refuses to turn from his way, he shall die for his guilt, but you shall save yourself.

Jesus says much the same thing in the gospel today.  So we better get this straight because it’s pretty clear and pretty direct.  It’s our job to confront sin in ourselves and in others.
 
Jesus told us to correct and admonish one another.  That’s what we’re talking about.  He’ll do the judging but we are to correct and admonish one another.
 
Well, it’s easy to talk to others about that person’s sins.  Same words, it just depends on whom we direct them to.  The duty of confrontation is certainly difficult and we need to do it right.  For sure, we should never confront another person when we’re angry.  In fact, don’t ever send an e-mail when you’re angry.  Has anyone ever done that?  You’re not very truthful people.  I have.  Actually, maybe we shouldn’t communicate using e-mails other than just basic facts and such.  When you confront someone, when you’re angry, it bleeds into all sorts of other issues, doesn’t it?  It’s better to wait.  Write that letter but never mail it.  When you read it in two days, things will have changed.
 
In addition, some people have a temperament that they love to confront others. Ironically, they are the least effective in helping people. It's just like crying wolf too often. A person who constantly confronts everyone, everyday, loses credibility. 
 
Many others, perhaps many more, are afraid to confront anybody about anything.  Everything is swept under the rug and we all know that it doesn’t go away.  It just gets bottled up and eventually will explode one day. 
 
Of course, the optimum thing to do is to confront the other person with love.  Love alone can change them. When a person knows you love him, you give him room to change.  He knows that you accept HIM, not his sin, not his faults but you love him and it’s certainly the best way to confront the whole thing. 
 
It is a difficult duty to confront, especially children, more so than it was years ago.  Frankly, it’s amazing that if you love your children, you must confront them.  It’s your duty as a parent, as a grandparent or as a relative, to confront children.  Some people not only won’t confront their own children but they oppose those who do. 

I have a friend, a good friend, I’ve known most of my life.  He’s been a schoolteacher in the Albuquerque school district for about forty years.  I remember I used to get together with him every January 1st for dinner and my mother would be there also.  It was kind of a tradition we had. I remember one conversation, over ten years ago, maybe fifteen, when he told me, “I’m finished with confronting parents and kids.  I’m just going to do my job and go home. More often than not, when I’m trying to help the child, I go and speak to the parents.  Next thing you know, the parents turn on me as if I’m the problem.”  Interestingly, I saw Steve a few years ago, maybe three now, and we revisited this problem.  He told me something that I don’t know if it has any validity or not. I mean, it did in his case.  He certainly was telling me the truth.  He told me things are beginning to change.  He said, “It seems that there is more parental involvement now and certainly more than there was fifteen years ago.”  Good news is hard to come by so, we shouldn’t avoid listening to it. 
 
I knew another fellow in my former parish.  His name was Tomas Herrera, may he rest in peace.  He was called the sheriff in the East Mountains for many years.  If you’re not familiar with that part of the country, it’s just east of Albuquerque to probably Presidio Hill, 20-25 miles east of Albuquerque.  He was the law.  Even back then, he had his own car. In fact, he had that car until he died.  It was a '56 Chevy and had the big sheriff’s star on the side.  He’d go to all the parades and everything. He’d wear his uniform and direct traffic.  He was an institution, a great man and a great storyteller.
 
As a matter of fact, let me just give you an aside into one of his stories.  It has nothing to do with the topic at hand.  I told this at his funeral. I’ll give you the short version.
 
“You know Father, years ago, I got a call late one night that there was a dead body at the top of Sandia Peak.  Hoo!  It was a cold night.  So, me and another guy got in the truck to go up and get this body.  It was so cold Father that we had to stop and have some moonshine.  Just to warm up, you know?  We got half way up that mountain and ooh it was cold!  The heater didn’t work in the truck so, we had to have some more moonshine.  Finally, we got up to the top of the mountain.  We put the guy in the back of the truck at the top of the hill.  Put him in the back of the truck, came down the mountain, and we lost control of the truck. It fishtailed and the guy came out.  We had to get down and find him, bring him up and put him back in the truck.  By that time, we were chilled to the bone so, we had to have some more moonshine.  Finally, thanks be to God, we got down to the bottom of the hill and everything was finished.  You know Father, I’m not so sure that that man was dead when we found him but he was dead when we got him down the mountain.”
 
I told the long version at his funeral and believe me, he sounded exactly like that.  But years ago, Tom, who was a wonderful man, told me, “You know, years ago Father, I’d catch kids doing things that were against the law, drinking beer, or breaking windows, or stealing.  I’d take them by the ear to their parents and I knew that would be the beginning of their troubles.  I knew it would be taken care of.”  He said, “But something happened and more and more I was taking the kids to their parents and their parents were fighting me, like I was the problem.  So, I just took them to jail.”  An outstanding guy.
 
We need to somehow take care of each other by confronting each other.  When I was a kid, I remember that I was convinced that my mother spoke every night to my teacher for two hours.  Sister Anita and my mother had the exact same mind.  If I was in trouble at school, I was in big trouble at home.   It wasn’t perfect.  I’m always skeptic of the ones that say, “Well, it used to be.”  It was never perfect.  We always had our troubles and our problems.  I do remember being in the neighborhood when another mother would correct me.  I know my Mom would correct another child.  I don’t know if we’ve become so litigious or so afraid that we don’t seem to do that as much, anymore. It is a parental responsibility to confront your children when they sin and when they do things wrong. 
 
I guess the key ingredient to all this is courage; the courage to confront problems, sins, and weakness.  C.S. Lewis said, “Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at its testing point.”  I think it’s true in this case as well as for our own salvation. If you warn the wicked, if you try to turn him from his way and he refuses to turn, he shall die for his guilt but you shall save yourself.
 
St. John Chrysostom said, “I can’t believe in the salvation of anyone who does not work for the salvation of his neighbor,”
 
Finally, St. James tells us, “Whoever brings back a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.”
 
Therefore, I ask the Lord tonight to give us all the courage to be honest, to be fair, to be truthful, but the courage to confront ourselves and others.  And so, if you would join me in this prayer:
 

 
We pray through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

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